Holding out for a Rapture
(to the tune of Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding out for a Hero”:-
Where have all the good men gone
Why don’t you help me, Lord?
Where’s the angel of revenge
With mighty flaming sword?
Isn’t there a rider pale upon a whitened steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream
of what I need
Chorus:-
I need a rapture
I’m holding out for a rapture ’til the end of my days
‘Cause I don’t want to work
For the Kingdom on earth
Or to fellowship with all the gays
I need a rapture
I’m holding out for a rapture ’til the end of my life
As I can’t get no ease
With no liberals here
And I want to leave them to the strife
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There’s someone reaching down for me
Corpses rising out of tombs and trumpets blaring loud
Lifting up into the air and feeling mighty proud
[Chorus]
Now with the rate with which my Humvee burns gas
Soon there will be none left at all
Seasons are changing with all my exhaust
Always fall
We can’t have any peace in Iraq
Nor Syria or Israel
Armageddon must happen
It can not fail
[Chorus]
I need a rapture. I’m holding out for a rapture ’til the end of my life.